Dream and asylum messages(5)

Between Belgrade and Istanbul, refugees do not realise the timing difference 

By Hazem Darwish

Not to leave Istanbul in your long-asylum journey, until you start comparing every city you enter. Not an objective comparison in order to reach a result you ignored before, but to prove to yourself before others that you are right to bet on the unique city of Istanbul and your pertaining and cherishing to it.

This comparison of its peak in Belgrade, where the river bisects the city, the hanging bridge , the tram and train station rickety. The scenes around in you Belgrade push you to gaze on and let them easily fall as you wish them at your bet. The city and its people are tired than you do. You are the fugitive from many fears to it. Like you, spreading Syrians in its all gardens have added insult to injury or misery to miserable. Mostly here are waiting an outside support to help them continue their journey or chasing so many smugglers’ lies about close flights in the morning, after, or later, and so forth. Procrastination is the thief of time ,money and nerves. Everyone is helpless but to chase the witches in the harder circle and survive the imprint in Hungary. All people here is in the Belgrade center resemble you. Unnecessary to disguise. Then you, after all what I have seen, do you still have the luxury of what you think is right in a cafe or park?

You spend the days waiting in cafes with aimless wandering customers like you. At night, it is sufficient to be a moonlit sky to reassure that all went to sleep in a park whether in a colorful tent or a sleeping blue bag or even without them. Night wasn’t enough for them to sleep altogether, as if they were exchanging roles, so another night is coming.

No ability of you here to ruminate anyone’s pain, so it will not concern you, but to protect yourself from the evils of many stab wounds received in the early stages of the trip and will not hold up in front of it if repeated again. For as long as the collective punishment and fatigue, but you’ve learned on this path that survive can only be individual. Many people may be able to harm you by a fraud, a lie, or even rob you, but no one will be able to help, no matter how he tries if you fall into yourself , so you try your best, that night when your smuggler lied to you and another new will in the travel time and left you in a brothel called a hotel with a group of young Iraqis fleeing like you, try not to sink in a new fear of. The harsh tone of young Iraqis and tough behaviour on themselves before others, push you to the far corner to build a new alienation experience cobweb.

What does it mean to be a stranger to this extent? Wishing to hear a voice as long deserted him and thought that is different from him. The kindest and youngest approaches me and says: «young Syrians people in the neighbouring room. Go and stay up with them, then you do not have to keep you all this, although we are Iraqis, we will not eat you »and he thinks, he is shedding a joke of black humor style. Next morning, your feet lead you away from the centre that occupied by refugees, to see another Belgrade, arose from the nineteenth century, a fresh well built and full of meanings, it’s your chance to grasp it even that you’re in your compulsive tourism not in a willingly one. Vainly trying to tell yourself: «in Istanbul there are such palaces, buildings and streets »then fail, and feel ashamed of yourself and from Istanbul while you are enjoy your eyes with the scenes of the city as if you are betraying a beloved.

Ready to leave the city, from one moment to another, a friend alerts you that the time setting in your watch is wrong, so that you have to delay the time so as not to err in our starting time of forthcoming date. I spent three days in the city and did not discern at it, like you do not want yourself to be endemic to the place or familiarise yourself with. You’re still on the road and did not arrive at your destination yet. Why change the timing? But do a difference in timing between two cities make any difference on the path to reach your destination or is it still you have to prepare yourself for more of what you are still ignorant about?!

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